I have a long history of second guessing some of the decisions I make. One of the ones on my mind lately has been not to keep Sterling. I didn't because I could not have another dog and still raise, but at the same time I so wish there had been a way to keep him in my life. At the time the placement seemed just about perfect, but after many months I wonder if it would not have been better to have GDB place him so that I would not feel so responsible for his continued care. Now that is not to say he is not cared for and loved: of course he is. But my level of ownership seems to differ from others. I want my dog to have a job, some structure, eat great food, and be an integral part of my life. I want a partner, a friend, a confident companion. I understand many people just do not view dogs in that respect, but it is something I am having a hard time accepting. Maybe it is just the holidays....the last two holidays I spent with Sterling: first as a baby puppy, last as a wonderful adult. I know that not every situation is perfect. I am so happy that he is loved and thankful that I get to see him still.
